For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, Dating Advice for Men & Women may be a reference to a weekly radio show on which Christian men and women to discuss all aspects of dating. Unlike similar shows on the radio, The Heart of Dating is actually more than just a talk show. It is also a one-of-a-kind resource that gives lesbians and gay people (and even straight people) a great forum to discuss dating while gaining a greater understanding of what exactly it means to be a person of faith. Yes, I said understanding. Because much of the information provided on this show deals with what it means to be a person of faith, I wanted to take some time to explain what exactly this show’s intentions are.
The point of the podcast, The Heart of Dating is to unpack the often ambiguous world of dating for both straight men and women. While there certainly are resources spread throughout time, there really aren’t many centralized places where Christians can gain quick, easy access to dating advice, support, and guidance readily and safely. When I decided to put together this show, I wanted to provide a place where people could get sincere Christian dating advice without having to worry about whether or not the advice would be helpful or beneficial to them. Although the hosts and producers of The Heart of Dating understand that everyone has different needs, they have made accommodations for those in need by providing a space where gay and lesbian people can connect to each other without the fear of being judged.
What The Heart of Dating does best is provide an environment where those who are a part of the Christian dating scene can openly discuss all of their dating experiences and learn from others while gaining a deeper understanding of what they are going through. One of the problems I have always had while dating was how limited my perspective on the dating process was. Having grown up in a conservative Christian home, I always believed that God’s plan for dating was pretty clearly explained. There were little hints here and there that suggested certain things were appropriate and other things that weren’t, but nothing in my experience explained how God’s will was actually applied when I was dating women. Through listening to this podcast I came to understand that I needed to broaden my perspective on the dating game if I ever hoped to see lasting success with my dating life.
Some of the dating advice on The Heart of Dating that is most useful has to do with looking for love within the women you already know. Far too often I found that when I was in my 20’s and starting my dating journey that I would go out with women who already had children. It was clear to me that these women did not need my dating advice because they already had a husband, kids, and other significant people in their lives. This lack of perspective was compounded by the fact that many of these women had no interest in getting involved in a relationship with me. Their lack of interest in me made them seem shallow and desperate in ways that I couldn’t relate to, so I ended up not having any real lasting relationships with these women.
Another piece of dating advice that was useful to me as I was growing up was to keep my dating life to the men I was dating. Far too often, girls would get involved with a guy and then find themselves dating a bunch of other guys before their boyfriends got around to it. I would then find myself playing hard to get with these other guys and spending far more time than I should be spending with my boyfriends. I learned through The Hard Way that it’s important to have a boyfriend or at least some interest in your man, so you don’t chase after him like a dog. This dating advice helped me learn to focus my energy on only one person at a time so that my relationships with the guys in my life improved drastically.
Finally, I learned from The Hard Way that it’s impossible to get into a deep relationship with a man by only dating girls. I had no interest in becoming a stag night type of girl and was therefore happy with only short term relationships and casual dating. The dating advice I got from The Hard Way also made me realize that men aren’t looking for long term commitment from women, but are looking for quickie sex and friendship. If a man is truly into you and can love you for who you are, then you will never have to settle for any sort of relationship, including long-term ones.